If its a serious issue we have not already considered, I can follow up with you, as needed.. That bit of whimsy might get my daughter up moving more happily in the morning. Know that if youre going to ask for feedback, then stop and listen to it, even if you dont like whats being said. Jane has been at the company for a while but is not in a leadership or management position, so is often not a stakeholder in key decisions/projects.. I feel I could write this letter from Janes perspective a couple years ago. She has been/is being pigeonholed in a way she didnt sign up for or probably expect. This is OP. Dont defend why. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. I find that there is some real thinking going on behind the action or words. I just wrapped up a major, months-long project about four weeks ago. I like this wording. I agree with the responses here and differentiating what collaboration and teamwork actually looks like. Its lethal to coworkers and hurts the organization because they wield excessive power without oversight until enough complaints emerge. Its exhausting. Here are a few quick questions you can use to help get you started: NOTE: If you want to learn the official process of how to create accountability anchors and effectively revisit them until your employee meets your expectation, we teach this process in our signature course and book. At meetings, theyll tell peers or even more senior coworkers, That's a great idea, why dont you take the lead on it?. Going beyond, or overstepping, your authority means assuming authority or rank that you do not have. Get clear on the actual behaviors youd like to change. Respectfully disagreeing isnt a bad thing, and once you outline why its difficult to argue with logic. You need to be direct and honest, and let her know what is and is acceptable. Yup Ive been on that side too. This gives us time to make preparations. Crappy employer with crappy employee. Gaining trust and respect doesnt happen overnight. And sometimes, you wont get to work on something start to finish, and there might not be time or ability to give you the full context. Trust your team to make good decisions based on their expertise. In turn, I have had people question my judgement about their potential. Board members need common sense when enacting and enforcing rules, but others in the building must use their heads, too. A lot of people take this to mean everyone has a voice on everything, all the time. The first step you should take to manage an employee who shows constant disrespect for authority is to meet privately and to ask that person why he is not following your direct . Make sure your ego doesnt get in the way to hear this because you are mad that they didnt listen. Constantly questioning those decisions and criticizing without full information isnt great for our working environment, and its derailing our meetings. Nothing seems to bring out the nasty in people like a feeling of authority and a copy of Roberts Rules of Order. As your team member finishes talking, you look around the room at the rest of your team members. Personally, I cannot request 120 days off to go to everyones birthday party. This is a large family that thinks its still a small group of people. They've made a commitment to you and the team so prioritize tasks for them. This employee helped grow this company, OP is new, and basically Jane is being told to shut up and sit down by newbies. This is not a good thing, its really bad. You can start by reflecting on the easiest aspect to influence your own behavior! If they didnt follow instructions because they dont want to listen to you, off to step 3! These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Of course, you dont have to do this, but it sure helps with engagement and keeping employees more receptive and respectful. It felt a little shocking the first few times, but I ended up kind of admiring him for it. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze how you use this website, store your preferences, and provide the content and advertisements that are relevant to you. Will you tell me what your thoughts are here, what is your objective/goal? repeated ad infinitum until the tirade is over. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. You might be blunter with her in private, but this works well as a firm but unmistakable check in a group meeting. They resist change and dont want to receive, Just one arrogant, dismissive, and condescending person can create a, Most employees only change their inappropriate behaviors when they know that there are consequences for not doing it. This is great advice from Alison! I would think (hope!) Time. Honestly, I wouldnt even invite later discussion. Its not that theyre stupid or not able to contribute or worthless, theyre just generally not genuinely invested in a vision or by curiosity, they just want to be the smartest person in the room and get attention paid them. Or whether the department on the whole is sort of dysfunctional and in the habit of putting their noses where they arent needed. Second class city councils may only confirm appointments of the city attorney, clerk, and treasurer (RCW 35.23.021). When sharing with a senior leader or board, share at a big-picture level of the work youre doing to keep them informed. Didnt matter, layoffs were across the company and based on the company deciding to go a different direction entirely. Be direct and communicate your wishes. Jane has an unrelated graduate degree from a more prestigious institution and was probably the most degreed member of the team when she was hired, which I suspect plays a role in whats going on.). One Power Question to Improve Employee Accountability, How to Influence Your Boss, Peers, and Direct Reports, 17 Questions to Help You Answer How to Build a Strong Culture with a Remote Team. My name is Dr. Angela Olsen. how do you handle being pregnant at work? If your role is clearly defined and theres still overstepping on your authority, you can push back and have a conversation. This. Severe acts of insolence may be cause for termination, while an otherwise. I used to work with someone who would straight-up say I dont agree when he didnt agree with something. But yep if its just I dont feel ready *yet* then thats a really good way of putting it. I might also add something about the impact to the team, Janes relationships with other team members, and the impact to Janes reputation when she openly criticizes her teammates/coworkers in front of others. In time, it is likely that both you and management will realize that this solo flyers power is built on silt. Your email address will not be published. I think Ive hedged on the well if I give them ALL the context theyll see we made the right decision but truly, that is setting the wrong expectation. Are you making a major change? As such the cycle continues. At this point, were not looking for feedback., And then you can use a classic phrase my wife uses to shut down her students: I understand you dont feel heard. Do I have specific relevant information/expertise that may change how others see this? Its even been my experience that people at the highest levels in their area start to feel like their input is essential in other areas. What do you do with employees who think they are the boss? You need to nip that in the bud and I think Alisons script is great. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I dont derail everyone; I take it to the one person whose lane it IS. What happened next is they brought me ideas. SCENARIO THREE:My employee gives me advice in a way that feels condescending instead of being engaged and eager to contribute. Im glad I dont have to work with her anymore, but I wish my former employer had fired Brenda much sooner. But whats really happening is that the rest of us either dont agree with them Yeah, often whenever Ive met someone who claims they dont feel heard, its usually that they arent being obeyed, like their opinion was not a suggestion but a directive. Stops the salespeople thinking Im asking their opinion when Im telling them the situation. Going forward, I need to make sure that comments and discussion remains in the hands of people who are directly working on that particular project. What behavior do you specifically want them to demonstrate differently? Another possibility is that she wanted to stay in this role and didnt realize that would mean diminished scope. Ugh. If you believe that your colleague is just plain wrong and it's not worth learning why they are making a mistake, simply talk to your manager and raise this concern. A few things could be going on here. Managers like it when people keep pushing the boundaries to do an outstanding job. Are they all necessary? I admit Im probably being a pain in the ass, acting like Jane and trying to insert myself into things that are outside my lane, but its because I feel invisible and I want my job to be more than surfing the Internet all day. We will be doing X anyway., Not every person here can be heard on every issue. As my dad told us kids, God answers all prayers, and sometimes the answer is no.. Check with your boss before you agree to work on anything from a coworker who seems to hold "self-perceived" authority. But she doesnt have experience in any of the areas where she questions decisions and wants input. And, on what X actually is (ie, an area that would actually have a lot of room to exercise her creativity). Its not practical for me to walk you through hours of context that you werent present for, so I need you to trust your coworkers to manage their own realms., You should also say, To be clear, its fine to ask for more information about why weve chosen a particular direction if you genuinely want to better understand to do your own job better. But before you condone any belittling and bullying behaviors in the workplace, think about everyone else in the team, who can be just as talented if they are not trampled on. Determined not to fail, they exert their power through micromanaging, poor communication or toxic behaviors. Here are some ways Id like you to contribute to this: (list what you came up with).. I got that impression toothat OP is rather annoyed with her inherited people and hopes Jane quits. OH WOW I NEEDED THIS TODAY. Your employee must get their work done on a timely basis. With a larger managerial span you want to have self-starters rather than people who always wait to be told what to do. Of course they have to be willing to change what they are doing in crafting suggestions. It could be that the interface is too confusing or difficult to use, the documentation is inadequate, your products workflow doesnt match theirs (leading to confusion), they were not properly trained, the implementation was poor, the sales people gave the bad information etc. comment came off really dismissive. I dont plan to die at my desk, and so the organization needs to understand that theres a need here and that the answer to the problem is not me. Overstepping leadership happens. If its bad enough to write into AAM, then its gone on long enough and its okay to take corrective steps. I have found it helpful to look around and see how many people I am working with who are saying, I dont feel heard. If theres a lot of these folks, then it might be the company. In exchange, they will get respect back. My rule of thumb is if I see something three times then I have a pattern. So what I will be doing is redirecting conversation back to the main topic.. Also, questioning other departments decisions is not a good look. And certainly you might have occasionally questions about A, B, and C. I can feel them rolling their eyes every time Jane derails things from here. You cannot dither about what to do with an employee whose issues affect others. Great advice from Alison. If you want to schedule a meeting to talk about your advancement goals, Ill have time in a couple of weeks.. Q. If there is only a couple, it might be ME, I might need to change what I am doing so I do get heard. She was much worse when she started. Brenda also refused to communicate information to my client to me, which caused even more issues down the line. They often meddle in decisions that have nothing to do with their work. If you have a team of yes-people who always agree with you, then they're not necessary because they are not helping you to be a better leader. Here are five ways managers can earn the respect of their team and be taken seriously. Perhaps they are outspoken, act like theyre the boss, or dont show respect when you make a final decision. Exactly this. And the way to prevent such behavior is by making sure there are appropriate consequences. Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. Thats true but I find the elimination of argument helps. Theres at least one of these in any group, I feel. I guess the answer to his forthright comment is well, you dont have to agree. If the situation goes beyond a mere self-promoter, find out the real agenda of the power-monger coworker and how much they really impact your job. And other reasons. The fact that youre shutting her down will tell the ACTUAL stakeholders that youre not going to make them do her bidding. I had forgotten about it until I saw the wording of this question! . Suggestions from the Hear Me! Shes apparently a subject matter expert in a small area, and shes weighing in on things she feels strongly about but for which they have other SMEs doing good work the OP supports. Somewhere along the line they missed the part about the board being a governing entity - no one individual has power, only the board as a whole can make decisions and direct work. This is why I love RACI diagrams and why I wish every single interaction involved one (I find boundaries tricky myself). Finally someone with some empathy for Jane. What want to do is get specific on what needs to change in their execution. According to Brauner, the majority of cases wherein a board has overstepped its authority could have been avoided by consulting legal counsel before making a decision that seems questionable. Motivation 7 Steps for Coaching Difficult Employees. Questioning a process & thinking outside the narrow parameters of your role is valuable and losing this quality in a team member is sad. Maybe even take out the the team in charge went into all the issuesbecause that implies that she deserves that info, and really she doesnt. Employees who challenge your authority may be doing you a favor! Maaaaybe this is something she can raise with you in a one on one if she has a specific reason to believe shes got information you dont, but she definitely doesnt get to denigrate others progress publicly with little information and even less at stake.